


first kiss

by angelsprunch



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Implied Sexual Abuse, Implied abuse, a lil bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-04 05:31:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12764187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelsprunch/pseuds/angelsprunch
Summary: beverly only feels safe in ben's room





	first kiss

**Author's Note:**

> so i’ve been really struggling to write something but i wanted to do something before i reverted to bad coping mechanisms. anyway !! this was supposed to be angsty but instead it isn’t that bad. also benverly is underrated because yall like to sleep on ben so enjoy this

The sun rises in the east and sets in the west. The sky was usually blue. Most nights you could see the moon from your window. It rained a lot in Derry. Ben Hanscom was in love with Beverly Marsh. All of these were simple facts that the losers had come to accept. It was also accepted that Beverly was in love with Bill Denbrough. Bill didn’t reciprocate, though. At one point he had thought he did but they tried dating and there just wasn’t any chemistry. Even though Beverly didn’t reciprocate the feelings, Ben held no resentment. He wanted Beverly to be happy before anything else. The poems continued to come and Beverly welcomed Ben’s sweet words. It seemed like he always knew when she needed his kind words the most. Or, maybe Beverly always needed the pick me up.

 

Ever since the summer, Ben knew that Beverly sometimes needed a safe place to go. She needed a place away from home that she could always count on. Ben made sure that his home could be that place. It wasn’t uncommon for Beverly to come to the one story house and knock on Ben’s window. He was a light sleeper and at first the gentle tapping startled him, but know he’s grown used to it. Ben always opens his window and helps Beverly climb in. Sometimes her clothes will be ripped or dirty and he’ll lend her sweatpants and a shirt that are definitely too big on her, but she accepts. Other times she’ll have a bloodied lip or a bruising eye and he’ll patch her up. Mostly, though, she just needs someone to be there for her when she crumbles and Ben is always that person.

 

The core of what upset Beverly was how she felt she was undeserving of love. Ben would brush wispy hairs away from her eyes while she cried into his sweatshirt and he never really knew what to say. There were a lot of things on the tip of his tongue, but he always found himself second guessing himself. Instead, he let Beverly cry and he held her. Sometimes she’d ask him questions and he’d always answer as honestly as he could.

 

“Do you think I deserve to be loved?”

 

“You deserve it more than anyone.”

 

“Do you think I’m making the right choices?”

 

“I think you’re doing what feels right.”

 

“Do you think I’m dirty?”

 

“No. I would never think that.”

 

“Will anything change how you feel about me?”

 

“Never.”

 

Other questions rolled off her tongue and she would go on and on about the various hookups. None of them were ever spoken highly of and Ben was always filled with a rage that he’d never felt before when he thought of these people mistreating Beverly. Ben wanted more than anything to scoop Beverly up and take her away from all the things hurting her, but he didn’t want t pressure her into loving him. He was confident in how he felt about her, but he also knew that there was a lot that she had to sort through before she could even try to figure out if she felt the same about him. Ben didn’t mind, though. He would give Beverly all the time she needed and if she came to him and said she didn’t feel the same way, he would still be there for her. Ben was in love with Beverly, but he wanted her in his life as anything rather than not in his life at all.

 

One day, though, it was almost impossible for Ben to bite his tongue. When Beverly came through his window her clothes were ripped and hanging off of her. He was quick to pull clothes for her out of his drawers and he turned around while she changed. His clothes hung off her shoulders as well, but she didn’t seem nearly as sad when she was wearing Ben’s clothes. He was careful not to let his eyes linger anywhere, though. Once she was changed, Ben lead Beverly into the bathroom where he cleaned up her face. Her lip was swollen and there were several small cuts that were bleeding more than Ben cared for. Although, any blood on Beverly was more than he cared for. After it was all done the two climbed into Ben’s bed. He had offered her food, but Beverly politely declined. She knew that in this case, anything that went down would come back up.

 

“Beverly?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Do you ever want to leave?”

 

“Every day.”

 

“Why don’t you?”

 

“I don’t know where I’d go. I think I’m more scared to leave what I know than I am of this. This I know how to handle.”

 

“This is handling it?”

 

“I’m not dead yet, am I?”

 

“I mean, yeah. I just.. You deserve to enjoy your life.”

 

“I enjoy some parts.”

 

“You should enjoy all of it. You deserve to be happy.”

 

“I’m happy right now. I’m happy here with you.”

 

Shifting, Ben kept his arms around Beverly but he moved so he could get a proper look at her face. A smile tugged at the corners of his lips and there was a blush creeping up his neck. Beverly couldn’t see it, though. Her eyes were closed with her cheek pressed against his chest. It was starting to become a common thing for Beverly to fall asleep in Ben’s bed. At first he slept on the floor to give her space, but Beverly told him that was silly and she insisted that he lay with her. It proved to be more comforting to her to fall asleep in Ben’s arms. It was one of the few places that she felt safe. At first, Mrs. Hanscom was not happy with Ben sharing a bed with a girl. However, she trusted her son and she liked Beverly so she let it slide.

 

“I’m glad I can make you happy, Bev.” he mumbled, letting his eyes fall shut. Ben had assumed that Beverly was asleep and he always stayed awake so he could make sure she fell asleep. He would play with her hair or count the freckles speckled across her cheeks. On Beverly’s particularly bad days he would list off her best qualities, which happened to be all of them. As Ben felt himself drifting, Beverly shifted her head on his chest so she could look at him. He opened his eyes and was met with shining blue eyes.

 

Ben couldn’t really react because Beverly was moving closer and then they were kissing. He was too shocked to do anything and he simply laid there. After she pulled away he was cursing himself for not kissing her back. “Thank you, Ben.” she mumbled before cuddling back into him and intertwining their fingers. “I love you.”

 

“I love you, too, Bev.”


End file.
